Never submit an abstract to a conference

...Because then you will find yourself, months later, spending many frantic days writing, culminating in an an all-nighter, in order to send a pathetic draft of a paper whose data you are not done analyzing to the session discussant. Then you will spend two and a half days procrastinating because you are wiped out from the mad rush of work, only to realize that you really do need to get that presentation written. And now you (okay, I) look forward to another long night of work before heading out of town.

Let this be a lesson to you. Do not submit a unwritten papers to conferences! Especially when they are small regional conferences whose audience will likely be miniscule.

I would have more time to work on my presentation, but in the 56 hours between Friday at 7:30am and Sunday at 3:30pm, I am taking a train to Baltimore, then flying to San Francisco via Philadelphia (I know--huh?), hanging out with friends, going to a wedding, leaving said wedding mid-reception to catch a red-eye to Baltimore, giving a presentation in Baltimore the same morning, and then taking the train back to Philadelphia.

At which time I want to do nothing more than eat greasy take-out and watch 30 Rock.