Notes from a spoiled Christmas

...And I don't mean spoiled as in bad, either. Yes, I am an only child.

Caveat: My family does BIG Christmases. I'm not really sure where it came from. My mother says it's what her parents did, so maybe that's it. And my grandfather used to pay for Christmas when I was little, so it was easier for my parents to just buy a lot. Then when he died, they felt bad about cutting back (no complaints here). In my defense, many of my friends have received money, generous donations of cars or furniture, and help with rent over the years. My parents aren't really into that. They like giving presents more than money or useful things, because it's a lot more fun.

So, anyway, I got a snowboard. Which I am super excited about. Alison and I are going to the Poconos in February, and now I don't need to rent a board & boots. Very exciting. I also received an awesome cookbook, black puffy winter coat, and running clothes. Good times.

In other news, I am trying to get back to work but finding it difficult--made worse by my parents' new Wii. Also, I finished "The Kite Runner" yesterday. It was an excellent book, and probably the last fiction book I'll have time to read for a while.

Happy Holidays, Friends!

As I do every year, I am taking this opportunity to eat lots of awesomely bad (but great) food, play board games with my parents, give and receive gifts, and watch terrible Christmas movies with thinly veiled "life lessons." Good times.

Merry Christmas--if, you know, you're into that sort of thing.

O-HI-O

So here I am, home for the holidays (Christmas, since we're all lapsed Catholics). Ohio is...cold. But it's nice to be with my parents. Unfortunately, I'm spending a lot of time working, which my stepmother is trying to not-so-subtly subvert. It's cute, actually. She thinks I work too much.

I drove to Ohio because we cannot have friends look after our cat--at age 18, she requires three pills a day and thrice weekly injections of subcutaneous fluids. Alison and I are practically vet techs at this point. I listened to NPR for most of the way, and I caught this gem. Now, I'm not usually interested in prodigies, and I'm not a big sucker for the "cute kid" gimmick. But Ethan Bortnick is really something special. Listen to the interview--a transcript will not do it justice.

I am not your "gay friend"

As everyone has heard by now, Rick Warren was chosen to give the invocation at Obama's inauguration. I am wavering between outrage and resignation. On the one hand, Rick Warren has said some terrible things about abortion, gays, and other religions. On the other, it is smart for Obama to win points with the religious right. In an attempt to make a decision on this, I googled the pastor to find the original sources of the quotes people have attributed to him. Instead, I stumbled across an interview in which he claimed to not be homophobic, because he had gay friends whose house he had recently visited.

Ah, the "gay friend." Little step-sister to the "black friend." Or the "disabled friend."

Here is the thing. I am not your "gay friend." If you need to take me out of your diversity wallet to defend yourself against the spector of homophobia, then I was never your friend to begin with. Talking about your "gay friend" immediately negates any friendship you thought you had.

Because:

1) You had to defend yourself against homophobia in the first place, and could not do so on its own merits. Being friendly is not a defense. Friendly people can be homophobic, and rude people can be accepting of different sexual orientations. Nice does not equal good.

2) If you think of me as your "gay friend"--the feather in your tolerance cap--then that is all I am to you. You feel better each time you are nice to me, the way you feel better when you give food to the homeless. That's not friendship. That's pity.

3) You are not my friend anyway. Newsflash: Gay people know the difference between "friends" and friends. I know whether you like me because I make you feel tolerant and good, or whether you like me because you think I'm fun to hang out with. I can be nice too--but I won't call you my "evangelical friend."

In the end, it comes down to the meaning of friendship. You are my friend if you enjoy being in my company, and I enjoy being in yours. You are my friend if you are happy for me when something good happens, and if you comfort me when I am sad. I am your friend in the same ways. Friendship does not require approval of everything I do. We can get irritated with one another and still be friends. But friendship does require a partnership of equals, respect, and understanding. And that is something that any would-be-tolerant people and their "gay friends" do not have.

*P.S.: I realize that my readership is pretty limited to my close friends, so this probably doesn't apply to you. But it needed to be said. Also, this doesn't mean that talking about your gay friend is bad. Just not to defend yourself against a charge of homophobia. If you really aren't homophobic, you can do that on your own.

Addendum

To my last post--

1) Alison has the flu. While not a good thing, I am happy it was not my cooking that made her sick. Whew.

2) I read this article at the gym, and I had to add it to the "sociologists in the news" list. It is about whether people in cities are more lonely (bottom line, they're not). I loved reading this--the author quoted many prominent sociologists, and she concluded that living in a city like New York is actually good for people. Yay.

Cooking & Sociologists in the News

For the first time in many months, I have had an excellent week. So I celebrated last night by cooking dinner. I am not as good of a cook as a baker, but I think I did a good job. I made honey-roasted root vegetables and homemade pita and curried hummos. The dinner was great, if I may say so myself. Unfortunately, my wife ended up being ill all night with either a stomach flu or food poisoning, so I cannot claim complete success. I am worried that the veggies are the culprit. But I don't want to throw them out, because they were so tasty (and I did not get sick).

On to "Sociologists in the News..."

Racial Identity and Social Context
A very timely topic for the Chapel Hill folks--sociologists find that outsider perceptions of racial identity are affected by contextual information such as incarceration and job loss. These attributes increase the likelihood that an interviewer will identify an individual as Black, and this has become more true in recent years.

Religion Makes You Healthy
The findings of this study are not shocking. In fact, my primary comment for this article is "when are media outlets going to stop reporting on this topic?" It is not that I disagree with the premise, or that I think it should not be reported at all. It's just that the religion-health link appears to be one of the most reported findings from sociological work. We get it, already! There is more to sociology.

Demographers Rock!
The article is about a possible reduction in fertility and not the obvious fact that demographers are awesome. But I thought I would put in my two cents... Anyway, point is, people have fewer babies when they're worried about their pocketbook.

Families Matter
Using Add Health (yay!), a Penn State sociologist finds that family lifestyle affects obesity as much as genetics do.

Oooh, Fun!

So over at Scatterplot, there is an interesting discussion about which books people have not read. The more central to one's discipline, the better. Or if we're talking fiction, the more heralded, the better. Here are mine.

Sociology/Nonfiction
The Consequences of Modernity (Giddens)
Anything by Marx (I have tried, many times over. I finally gave up during comp exams time and just read every description of Marx's theory I could find).
The Second Shift (Hochschild)
Of Human Bonding: Parent-Child Relations... (Rossi & Rossi)
Bowling Alone
Democracy in America

Fiction
The Catcher in the Rye
The Canterbury Tales
Atlas Shrugged
For Whom the Bell Tolls

Although apparently many people have never read One Hundred Years of Solitude, which is one of my all-time favorite novels, so I do feel a little redeemed.

A few thoughts

I am returning to Philadelphia tomorrow. I had a great time here, but am homesick for Alison, my cat, my apartment, and walking as the primary mode of transportation. So all in all, I am looking forward to going back. The drive...not so much. But it will be okay. I'm used to long drives.

Anyway, some (maybe) interesting things:

Sad
A.O. Scott reviewed Wendy and Lucy and had this to say (among other things): "'Wendy and Lucy' is rated R (Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian). It has some swearing, a little drug use and a brief implication of violence, but no nudity, sex or murder. The rating seems to reflect, above all, an impulse to protect children from learning that people are lonely and that life can be hard." --I found this really disheartening. It's okay for adolescents to discover that life is hard. I think they probably know anyway.

More does not equal too much
This article dispels some of the myth around auto workers' salaries (it was also reported earlier by Media Matters). One additional point: just because workers in American auto plants make more than workers at foreign plants, it does not mean they necessarily make too much. Maybe the rest of us don't make enough...

Crushes
Since Alison has been posting her "crush of the week", I thought I would post a list of my crushes. They are in no particular order, because my preferences change day to day:
-Tina Fey
-Amy Poehler
-Campbell Brown
-Roselyn Sanchez
-Rachel Maddow
-Seth Meyers

Jobs

I had intended to write about the need for equal job creation for men and women, inspired largely by Philip Cohen's post on this issue, but Linda Hirshman beat me to it. My point was initially similar to theirs--Obama's job creation plans are concentrated in sectors that traditionally employ men (engineering, construction, etc.), thus leaving women out of luck. So should the new government think about women, too?

As reported in the NY Times, job losses primarily affected those in manufacturing, construction, retailing, financial services, hotel and restaurant work, as well as temporary workers. Some of these are "male" jobs (manufacturing and construction), but many disproportionately affect women--particularly service sector jobs. Therefore, we might expect women to be losing jobs at a similar or even increased rate than men in the present downturn. However, the same article also lists the sectors in which employment is growing--areas such as health care, which disproportionately employs women. So maybe women are not really losing jobs, so much as moving to new jobs. Employment statistics suggest this is the case: men's unemployment has grown from 5.3 to 6.3 in the last three months (here I am looking at the seasonably adjusted rates for 20+ males), while women's unemployment has grown from 4.6 to 5.3. This is not changed by looking at labor force non-participation, either.

So is focusing on men's jobs more important? I would argue, along with Philip and Linda Hirshman, that we still need to consider women's employment. Most importantly, when we consider the impact of joblessness on children, women's employment becomes much more important. Men may be nearly 20% more likely to be unemployed than women, but children are about 10 times more likely to live with only their mothers than only their fathers. So mother's employment means a lot more in terms of family well-being.

What kinds of government initiatives could be instituted to support women? I can think of three: First, the government could couple Obama's interest in pre-kindergarten education with a job creation program, funding both educational initiatives for young children and job training to employ educators in these positions. Second, the federal government can create incentives to state and local governments as well as companies to provide on-site childcare for parents, thus making it easier for women to work and creating jobs in childcare. Third, legislation designed to fund retraining programs for unemployed workers should create specific plans to open traditionally "male jobs" to women, by training women to be able to work in these areas and by creating incentives for managers to hire women.

Well, that is, if anyone were asking me... :)

Sociologists in the news...

I have decided to try a new weekly segment of interesting news stories that either write about sociology for a mass audience, are written by a sociologist, or make reference to sociologists who are doing interesting research. So here it goes...in the news this week:

1. Happiness is...a virus?
Researchers at Harvard and UC San Diego find that if people in your social network are happy, you are more likely to be happy as well. This works particularly well through friends and neighbors, but less so through family members. This research was also profiled on the Today Show last week.

2. Automakers, Unions, and Competition
This was written by a sociologist at Wesleyan. Cutler argues that the failure of unions to organize companies at the manufacturing plants of foreign vehicles has contributed to the current crisis. Certainly, unionization could be a positive step for workers in the U.S. But I am uncomfortable with the blame for these crises being placed on workers, when their pay comprises a relatively small fraction of the total budget.

3. Religion, Religion, Religion
First, sociologist Wendy Cadge tells us that some people pray for parking spaces (Say it like Amy & Seth--Really? Really!) Then, Mark Chavez sings (or maybe writes) the praises (heh--get it?) of the mega-church. Finally, Dashefsky shows that interfaith Christian-Jewish married partners were more observant of Jewish religious traditions than non-interfaith couples. Go figure.

North Carolina

Yesterday I drove down to North Carolina for the week, to meet with my advisors, collaborators, and friends. And to attend three holiday parties. Why not get some free food while I'm at it, after all? The drive to NC was long but uneventful. The most exciting part of my drive occurred in DC in which I had my possibly dorkiest moment ever, listening to cspan radio. I didn't even know cspan radio existed. But it does. And I was able to listen to about an hour and a half (until I drove out of range) of Thursday's congressional hearings with the Detroit automakers. It was really fascinating! What I found particularly interesting was the fact that, despite news reports that seem to lump the three companies in the same boat, they are really quite distinct. I already knew that Ford was doing better than GM & Chrysler. They are only asking for access to money in case they need it, not a direct infusion of cash. I didn't know, though, that Chrysler is a) just waiting for someone to buy them up or merge with them--the bailout would just make them "more marriageable" as one senator put it and b) they are owned by private equity, which could invest in them, but doesn't. Kind of makes the idea of giving them money unappealing, no? GM is the real worry, as they employ so many people and do desperately need cash. I also found out that the automakers spend less than 10% of their money on labor (so the unions claim--rightly, it seems--that they cannot be blamed for the shortage of money), and that an economist named Moody estimates that they automakers will need more money eventually, putting the estimated price at somewhere between 75 and 125 billion. Interesting stuff!

Back to my day...When I arrived in Chapel Hill, I immediately headed to the gym (six hours in a car makes this a necessity). It was a gratifying experience, as I watch unranked Michigan beat sixth ranked Duke in basketball. Since I am no longer living in Chapel Hill, I worried that my basketball interest would wane. But no, I hung around the gym stretching until I saw the final frown on Coach K's face.

After this, I headed to my temporary "home" in Chapel Hill to shower and change, and then drove to the department Holiday party, bearing wine. The party was well-attended, and much more enjoyable than I expected. Good job, Sociability Committee (formerly Social Committee, until someone took issue with the adjective "social", saying, "Humans are always social by nature, so it should really be called the sociability committee." Huh?) Anyway, after the Holiday party, I went with Vanesa and her sister, Mel, a friend of Mel's, Anne, and Yingchun to a lesbian bar in Durham called Steel Blue. Sounds like a lady cop dive. But, actually, it was a decent enough club (for Durham--let's be real).

And yet...this place did the same thing that the other lesbian club in Durham does--at some point in the night, the club plays a certain song, and 3/4ths of the people get up, go to the dance floor, and start line dancing. Seriously. And it's not even a country song! They play a vaguely hip hop-sounding song. But apparently everyone knows that it is a cue to get up and start shuffling awkwardly, side-to-side. Ohhhh, southern gay bars. How I haven't missed you.

Baking or blogging

...but certainly not dissertating.

I am getting used to failure. However, I need affirmation from somewhere, and it is certainly not coming from my profession. So here are my plans.

Baking
I love to bake. I am not particularly detail-oriented, but I can produce a good cookie. And an excellent lattice-topped pie, as I discovered over Thanksgiving. And as Alison has said, I love the positive reactions I get from baking. Last year I made Valentine's Day heart cookies for people at UNC. They were poppyseed sugar cookies with a clear sugar frosting and candied lemon peel. I am *still* living off the high I got from people's reaction to my candied lemon peel. That's right, I did it myself, bitches!

So anyway, my plan this year is to perfect some recipes of my own. I decided that I would hold off on cookies (except for the near future...more on that in a sec). Instead, I am going to work on cupcakes this winter. Why? Cupcakes are really only one item, rather than cookies which offer unlimited possibilities. And yet, by concentrating on perfecting a cupcake recipe, I can create some interesting combinations of cake & icing. Of course, pre-Christmas, I need to focus on Christmas cookies. I am baking the first batches tomorrow. But starting in January, get ready for the cupcake onslaught!

Blogging
I'm not good at blogging yet. The best blogs focus on a single topic, but I'm really more of a lazy generalist. I have added the Arianna Huffington blogging book to my amazon.com wishlist.* So maybe I will get some ideas. I do know that she says to blog your passion, but sociology is quickly losing steam for me. I do love baking, but I'm not sure I can bake often enough to blog about it. And I love politics, but there are better sites out there written by people who are paid to blog. I am a mere amateur. So I'm still seeking ideas. Because my life is...well, boring. I need a topic. Or at least a muse!

* I just discovered the most wonderful thing ever: the global amazon.com wishlist. Why did no one tell me sooner? Amazon.com, you are a genius.

P.S. I added a "followers" link to my sidebar, because I have delusions of grandeur. Actually, I was looking for a way to create those "after the jump" links, and came across the followers widget. I'll probably delete it if no one uses it, but I thought I would try it out for now.

5 lbs heavier & happier

This year, Alison and I held Thanksgiving at our apartment. My parents drove here from Ohio, and we had a very nice dinner at home. It was a relief to not travel for the holiday, and we had a lot of fun cooking Thanksgiving dinner. After three days, we now have only enough leftovers for one more turkey-and-stuffing sandwich each (if you haven't tried this, you are missing out). In the last two weeks, we have consumed (with help), two rounds of stuffing, a huge turkey, two pies, butternut squash-mashed potatoes, a carrot dish, a green beans and mushroom dish, buttermilk rolls, and lots of alcohol. Yum. And we mostly fit through our front door.

We had two stuffings and two pies because we (well, I) felt the need to test our recipes out ahead of time, in case anything went wrong. They came out beautifully both times, though, so we just ate a lot of amazing food. The stuffing was composed of sourdough bread and italian sausage, along with the requisite vegetables. The pies were triple-cherry: completely homemade, crust included. Alison took a picture, which I will post here when I get it from her. We also found an amazing brochure from Williams-Sonoma with recipes that we used for the veggie dishes and a full checklist of tasks to complete in the two weeks preceding Thanksgiving.

So, all in all, a good time. I hope you all had a fabulous Thanksgiving as well. It is one of my favorite holidays, because I love food and cooking for others. :)

Madonna!

Thursday night, Alison and I saw Madonna in concert from the front row...for the second time. And it was as magical as the very first time. Alison describes our night here. (And if you need a review of our experience at the Confessions Tour, it is here). Sticky & Sweet, despite the awful name, was an even better tour than Confessions. The only drawback was that it was a bit less dance-centered. But she brought some really cool romanian folk music and dancing into one section, and the old/new song balance was just right. I particularly liked the set-up for Vogue, She's Not Me, Devil Wouldn't Recognize You, and 4 Minutes.

I was still in recovery yesterday, but my throat and body feel much better today. We danced and jumped our way through the whole concert (as we found out during our first concert, she gets pissed at her staff if they bring people to the front row who don't dance). Even better, we got these tickets for free. Many, many thanks to Alison's very kind friend!

Stupid thieves

My parents' house was broken into yesterday by perhaps the stupidest thieves ever. They threw a rock through the glass doors to the dining hall and went through most of my parents' house. They took a couple of watches and a camera. The camera was a loss, although I suspect the most expensive item was the glass door itself. They are, understandably, upset by the break-in. The humor is not lost on them, however. The facts:

1) My parents' two large dogs (boxers) were in the family room, held from the robbers by only a small child gate resting over the door. THEY NEVER LEFT THE ROOM. Damn dogs. What are you good for?

2) Luckily enough, my parents' computers and widescreen tv are in the family room with the dogs, and despite the dogs' apparent aversion to conflict, the thieves were too scared to go in there.

3) The robbers rummaged through my mother's filing cabinet, yet managed to miss the four thousand dollars in cash there (I've been trying to get her to deposit the savings she periodically collects for years).

4) They also missed at least two full pill bottles of oxycotin (my mom is disabled and takes painkillers regularly). Do you know how much that shit is worth on the street?

Luckily, my parents keep their more expensive jewelry in a safety deposit box at the bank. Still, *why* would you even risk arrest when all you end up getting is a couple of used watches and a run-of-the-mill digital camera? Idiots.

I can't believe I'm saying this...

But Mitt Romney is actually making some sense here. It must be Opposite Day.

Anyway, I'm back in Philadelphia. It's so freaking cold here. I am a wimp about the cold every year, but after spending four winters in North Carolina, I am completely unprepared for this. And it's in the mid-30s today, so it will get worse. Blah. I went running this morning when it was in the high-20s, and quickly realized that I could not get through the winter running outdoors. So Alison and I will be joining the school gym December 1st, when the price goes down. Until then, I am stuck with the great outdoors. It's particularly bad because I like to run on a path by the river, so it's even colder than the weather channel predicts. Blah.

I am now trying to tie up loose ends on about 5 or 6 papers. Funny, when you tell all of your collaborators that you'll be able to work on that paper in the first week after you get back, it becomes impossible to follow through. Oops. But I am getting work done on most of them, and I am really enjoying it. It's much easier to love work when I am: 1) Not in Ohio, 2) Not waking up at 5am, and 3) Setting my own schedule. Go figure.

Judith Warner rocks!

One of my fave NY Times columnists, on Prop 8.

Back in the Midwest

Yeah, I started writing this three days ago, and I just finished. What of it? (Sorry!)

Anyway, I flew from Philadelphia back to Ohio on Sunday, and started interviewing students again on Monday. Surprisingly, the long break did not disrupt the flow of interviewing, and I have interviewed eleven girls so far. I may actually finish all my interviews tomorrow! Which makes this a good time to reflect.

It feels like everything and nothing has happened in the past two months. Qualitative research is isolating in most scenarios. It's ironic, really, given that quantitative research involves computers, and qualitative research involves contact with people. But as a qualitative researcher, that contact is narrowly defined by the scope of your research. It is not that I did not build relationships with some of my participants. It is more that they were unnaturally intimate and brutally short. I interviewed students about the particulars of their lives, in which many students talked about deeply personal experiences. Many students appeared quite comfortable with me at the end of the hour and a half, and expressed a desire to talk again. And since this project is designed to be longitudinal (at the end of the interview, I ask them for permission to re-contact them in a year), this is likely. But once the student leaves, the bond is broken. Often, I see the girls I know in the hallway as I walk around the school, and I see them avoid eye contact and shift away. I know this is not because the interview was unpleasant--these are the same students who told me the interview was "fun". I think they realize only later that I know a great deal about their lives, while they really do not know me at all.

Overall, I do not think I would call this research "fun" myself (sometimes when a student tells me they had fun I think, "Really? I didn't.") It is tiring and stressful. The exhaustion comes from the work of interviewing, whereas the stress is a product of my personality. As an introvert (when I am with strangers), I find being in a new environment and meeting new people to be difficult. I was always meeting new teachers and students, and occasionally talking to classrooms as a group, and I found this difficult to do on a daily basis.

Despite this, I am incredibly satisfied with my choice to do this research, and I would do it again. It is worth the 5am mornings, the lack of sleep, the hours of transcribing, the grumpy teachers, the fear I feel when confronted with a classroom full of teenagers, and the stress side effects. The participants themselves make it all worth it. What fascinates me--although it should not be so surprising--are the many vibrant personalities and interesting stories. I have met 57 diverse, enthusiastic, optimistic, beautiful young women who shared their lives with me. While I am sure there were at least a few who would be difficult to know on a day-to-day basis, I was able to get to know their better selves. There are several girls who stand out in my mind, and will continue to do so for a long time. I cannot wait to find out what they do next.

It's not us vs. them

I keep meaning to describe election day here in Philadelphia, but I think this is more important--I feel very strongly about the recent "Black community vs. the gays" storyline that I have been hearing in the press. Yes, 70% of black voters supported prop 8. But you know what? That still means that a whole bunch of black folks voted no. We simply cannot afford to allow the seeds of divisiveness to overwhelm the "big tent" of the Democratic party, and the nation as a whole.

One of the wonderful things about the gay movement is that it succeeds (slowly) be sheer exposure. Research has demonstrated that knowing someone who is gay is one of the most powerful avenues through which homophobia is reduced. The more that being gay is in the mainstream media and in families, communities, and peer groups, the less resistence there is to gay rights. So what does that 70% tell us? I don't think it says much about intolerance or religiosity. I think it says something about unfamiliarity. The failure of the gay movement is that it has largely ignored the black community--either because they assume black people will not be receptive to gay rights or because they are unaware of this lapse.

Now, one complication to the exposure argument is that the black community sees gayness as a white phenomenon. Why? To some degree, this is because many black gay men and women are not out in their communities. But it is also true that the gay rights movement has a white face. The gay rights movement has not embraced the opportunity to diversify it's image and to talk about how to make the community a more racially diverse place as a whole. This, too, would help.

We need to think less about how to draw boundaries and more about how to reach across them. In doing so, white gays and lesbians need to think less about how they have been "cheated" by the black community, and more about how this affects black gays and lesbians. Last night, Alison and I went out to a gay bar with some friends, and one white gay male was speaking angrily about the black vote in California. Admittedly, I was angry initially about the black vote as well. But while we talked about prop 8, I turned my head and saw that nearly half of the room was comprised of black gay men. And I thought about how much harder this is for them, every day of their lives. I believe that we should not give up on working within the black community to promote gay rights. Because in truth, we have rarely tried, and that is our failure.

Election Day

Tuesday I celebrated with this great country, proud that hope had triumphed over fear and good ideas had triumphed over racism. And yet, this morning I woke to the news that Prop 8 had passed. I wish this post could be only about the transformative power of Obama. I wish I felt completely content today, secure that good had really overcome hate. But the course of history has never been smooth, and we have far to go before we sleep.

Let me be clear. If I could have chosen only one outcome yesterday, I would have chosen Obama's election. He will do more for this country than would the defeat of a gay marriage ban. And yet...I am angry. I am angry and I am hurt.

I want to marry my partner. Alison and I will celebrate our 7th anniversary on December 8th. We have been together, side by side, through good times and bad. Through disappointments and losses, we have comforted one another. I remember the first time I saw Alison cry just because I was upset. I remember I stopped crying, to ask her what was wrong. I was shocked that someone would feel my pain so deeply. And I remember the first time I cried in response to her pain, too.

How ironic, and how terrible, that in a culmination of the long struggle of civil rights, our marriage rights were stripped from us.

Alison and I have been engaged for four years. I remember taking the bus to Tiffany's in order to buy her a beautiful engagement ring. I was so excited that I walked all the way back to Penn, feeling as light as air. Alison was annoyed with me, because I didn't get back in time for the bus, and we had to walk home. As we walked across the South Street bridge (an old, graffiti-covered hunk of metal), I felt more and more excited. I had intended to present the ring to Alison when we returned to New York, but I couldn't wait. As Alison talked about her day, I fished into my bag and extracted the ring. I pulled Alison to the side, and asked her to marry me. She said yes. It was the single best decision I have ever made.

Tonight, Alison and I went on a date. We discussed Proposition 8. We talked about our conversation earlier this year, when we considered marrying in California when we visited the state in March. Thankfully, we did not get the chance. The only thing worse than not being able to marry, is to marry and have that right stripped away. It is dehumanizing to know that someone on your block, or someone whose business you patronize, or your boss, or your child's friend's mom decided that your marriage is so intrinsically offensive to their way of life that they feel compelled to reach into your home and break a bond that you and your partner solemnly swore to uphold.

I want to marry Alison, and I want to do it somewhere in which our marriage will never be revoked. I want to know that I can visit her in a hospital, if she falls sick. I want to know that, wherever I am employed, I can obtain healthcare for Alison as well as myself. I want the same tax benefits as my straight friends. When I have a child with Alison, I want to know that that child cannot be taken away from me. I want to know that if I get sick or grievously hurt, Alison can make the decisions she needs to make. Because I trust no one else in this world so deeply.

But most of all, I want the government to give me a piece of paper that says, "We acknowledge you. We acknowledge you--we know you are here. We see your relationship."

And, yes, I want a marriage, not a civil union. When Alison and I were first engaged, our friends offered their congratulations. And yet, several of our friends who became engaged around the same time were thrown engagement parties. We were never offered one. And that hurt us deeply. No matter how tolerant our friends are, gay partnerships will not be seen in the same light until it is called marriage, and until we can walk into a courthouse and leave with a piece of paper that says, "I acknowledge you."

I want to go back to feeling only happiness when a straight friend tells me that he or she is getting married. I want to lose this heaviness in the pit of my stomach I feel when I hear of impending nuptials. Weddings should be joyous. But there is a small part of me that cannot feel that joy until this country opens its doors and says, "Yes, you too. We see your love."

I believe that change is coming. I believe that this is a stumbling block, but not a wall. When I was in high school, students spoke openly about going gay bashing. There were two health classes students could take, and parents had to sign off on which one they gave approval for their children to take--one in which the possibility of being gay was allowed to be mentioned and one in which the teacher would not allow any passing reference to gayness. This year, I went back to my high school to conduct interviews, and two of the students I interviewed were openly gay.

I believe that in ten or twenty or thirty years, we will look back and ask ourselves how could this have ever been debated. Some day, it will be inconceivable that marriage is a restricted, members-only, right. Our children will ask us why this was a contested issue. And I hope at that time, that I will think back to this time, and that my memory of this pain will have faded. I hope that I will remember this as barely a fleeting moment--a hiccup on the path to equality.

But for now, I do feel pain. We, as gay people, feel pain. We want to celebrate Obama's election whole-heartedly. We want to look forward, and see a new day. We want to stand with our new president and say, "Yes, we can." But on Tuesday, our neighbors and relatives and co-workers and some perfect strangers took from us a basic right. They said, "No, you can't."

But we will.

Crap. Only one day left!

I'm not sure whether to celebrate the end of this presidential election marathon, or mourn it. If things go the way they should, we can all celebrate (Alison & I are making mojitos for our election party tomorrow, and we plan to drink heavily in celebration or mourning). But, but...what happens to my procrastination time? What will I do from 8am to 10am, if not read every political blog and newspaper article before starting to work? (And then working for a half an hour before re-checking). What am I to do? And what's worse, what are the real political activists to do? I canvassed for Obama in Philadelphia (I know, pointless...) on Saturday, and the guy giving out directions told our group that he had been working on this campaign for a year and a half. And I felt so sad for him. What is he going to do on Wednesday morning? Hopefully he will be happy, but even if he is, what next?

This is a question I have been asking myself a lot lately. While I am not nearly as busy as all of those hard-core political campaigners, a combination of the election, the fiscal crisis, and a hardcore avoidance of my dissertation has made me very interested in doing...something. I've been looking into policy research, as well as trying to figure out where I could do some volunteer work. The more I read up on politics and policy, the more I feel like a floating bank of knowledge that could be useful, but just isn't.

Also, I might note that my newest admiration-crush, Rachel Maddow, has a phd but is employed in news. While I don't want to be on tv, I admire her job as a public thinker.

Other updates...

Research: I am working on a post-doc application very, very slowly. I don't know what is wrong with me, but I really can't muster the energy to care about any more applications. I think I just want to spend another year in graduate school. I definitely want to get back to research, rather than these applications. On Nov. 10, I'll start interviewing high school students again, and I should take a little over a week to finish up.

Philadelphia: Being here is good for my psyche--I am in such a better mood. I am quickly regaining weight I lost in Ohio and spending money at a much more rapid pace, but it's all worth it.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

Hope everyone has a fabulous Halloween! This is my favorite holiday of the year, even though I didn't get a costume together this year. It's still fun to watch other people being creative and fun.

We are on the way to a (tame) Halloween party, so briefly:

Last night we went to the Haunted Prison. This prison is a great gem in Philly. If you ever visit, don't miss it. It's a panopticon! (Well, almost). And it's just cool. It's fun to tour during the day, and their haunted version is awesome.

With both a parade in honor of the Philadelphia Phillies today and the holiday, the city has been in constant street-party mode all day. Drunken Philadelphians have been wandering the city, high-fiving strangers and shouting cheers. There has been more driving around and honking, and it seems like the entire city called in sick from work. Good times, my friends.

Go, Phillies!

I'm back in Philadelphia, arriving yesterday in time to see the Philadelphia Phillies win the World Series. While I find baseball about as interesting as waiting in a line at the DMV, there is something exciting about watching the losingest city (in sports) finally get a win. Alison and I went down to the local sports bar within a minute of the end of the game. After they won, the bar (and the city) erupted in excitement. The bars were full of celebratory drunk people, and within minutes the streets began to fill as these bars emptied. It was a little like Franklin Street after winning the championships but much, much bigger. Cars drove around the city for miles, honking. People leaned out of car windows and sun roofs. The most daring rode on the hoods of cars as passerbys cheered (including the police). We walked down to Broadway, the main thoroughfare of the city. It's a large, four lane street leading up to City Hall, and it was packed for several blocks. People were on top of lampposts, street vendor's kiosks, and the subway entrance. Others were throwing paper out of buildings about 15 floors up. We saw a tree being carried down the middle of the street--apparently uprooted and taken for kindling. A large American flag, taken from a nearby building, was also paraded through the crowd. People waved street signs that they had forcibly removed in celebration. Bonfires were started in the street, and a few cars overturned. Occasionally, we spied unprepared (and totally out of it) Philadelphians making their way through the crowd. At one point, a Beatnik-looking young woman wandered by us. She looked like she had left her slam poetry event and was completely confused by the sudden celebration. Ah, hipsters.

Anyway, it was a good time. We hung out for about 20 minutes, watching drunk men climb poles, and then we went home. And we fell asleep to the dulcet tones of car horns and whooping. Good times :)

Just sayin'

I think it is completely unfair when a certain prestigious journal asks you to review an article before ever accepting one of yours.

You scratch my back...

Slacker

That's me, being a slacker--I haven't done any campaigning for a couple of weeks, because I am far behind on an NIH postdoc proposal. And it would not be bad, necessarily, to skip volunteering for work if I had actually done much work. But being in Ohio sucks my will to live at the moment, so I have spent waaaay too much time surfing the web. Luckily, something in my brain finally came together this past weekend, and I have made some progress on the proposal. It's slow progress, but progress nonetheless.

Word of advice: Never attempt to collect qualitative data while applying for jobs. I don't know why I decided to do this. Really, what is so wrong with another year of grad school? The only plus side to this situation is I've lost some weight. But I think I'd prefer to have the weight back.

In other news...there is an interesting article on race from Frank Rich, one of my favorite NY Times writers. I have been thinking about this topic a lot recently. I try to hold off my excitement for what I believe will be a blowout election, in case anything goes horribly wrong. But it is hard not to get verklempt at the prospect of electing a black man as president. What an amazing thing that is. I know that racism will plod along as ever. In fact, much like Rich, I think the concern regarding white Americans is misguided. This is not because racism does not exist, but because racism is much more insidious and structural than the media choose to portray. White Americans can vote for a black man if it suits their interest--and many of those who do will continue to cross the street when they see a black male. And teachers will continue to overreact to black students' classroom behavior, creating a cycle of conflict with authority and the court system. And whites will continue to flee diversifying neighborhoods (while gentrifying others). Racism, in its most insidious form, is invisible. Worse, it's the logical extension of culturally constructed "rationalism." The system allows for the Barack Obamas, Colin Powells, and any other number of successful black americans--in fact, it depends on them, because images of success make racism that much more difficult to combat. It depends, too, on those few whites who espouse obviously racist rhetoric, as the fall-guys for racism. But for the most part, those "hicks" aren't the problem--they are the prop against which the rest of us (particularly the media) measure ourselves.

On to other subjects! Since I have been primarily interviewing and procrastinating, there is not much to say about my life recently. I have been running more, which is keeping me happy and sane. I have completed 12 interviews at the second school--18 to go! I am hoping to finish at least five today and tomorrow, and then I fly to Philadelphia tomorrow night. I'll be back here for a week to wrap things up in mid-November. The interviews at the second school have gone well. These students are, by and large, much better off than those at the first school. Most of them still want to stay in the area (WHY?), but they have higher aspirations for college and careers. One of them shook my hand after her interview, which I found really cute. Another asked if she could choose to not take the incentive money, until I explained that it was from the university, and not from me.

Lastly, I am trying to decide on a really simple Halloween costume this year, because I have neither the money nor the energy to be creative. Last year Alison and I went as UNC undergrads (we were in Philly). This year, Alison is going as a vampire. What should I do, people?

Tar Heels

Here is a great article on North Carolina and the election, from The Nation.

Early mornings, successful schools, and other news

I am sitting this morning at a Starbucks, after arriving at the high school to collect and distribute a few consent forms. Unfortunately, I was not able to get an interview in for 1st period, so I am "working" for the next hour or so while I wait for 2nd period to start. The problem with successful schools is that students don't want to miss class, and their teachers often don't let them out anyway. It's very frustrating. At least at the last school, teachers were happy to have one less student. Of course, absenteeism, lost consent forms, and an unwillingness to be recorded were issues in that school.

On top of this, my current schedule has me getting up at 5am so I can arrive at the high school at a little before 7am. And I cannot force myself to go to sleep before 11pm, hence the starbucks run.

In good news, Alison and I are getting tickets to Madonna's Philadelphia concert. Whooo! Last time, as some of you may remember, we paid for nosebleed tickets and were transferred to the front row (courtesy of Alison's friend/former student). This time we are getting free tickets and will likely sit at the sound booth. Since we can't afford even the nosebleed tickets this time around, that's pretty sweet.

In bad news, the only job I really care about at the moment (shh) has scheduled phone interviews, and I am not on the list. The upside of this is that I care a lot less about the job market now. But I am also super disappointed, even though I knew this was probably going to happen.

There's a table of teenagers near me. Skipping? No class 1st period? Hmmmm.

Powell's Endorsement

If you haven't seen it, you should: video. The first seven minutes are the best--very powerful, and well stated.

PSA

As B.O. tells us (heh), don't get overconfident: link.

How many days from the election are we?

Yesterday, my parents decided to have a yard sale. And 12 hours later, we have half the contents of their garage arranged haphazardly around the driveway. There is a stunning, perhaps even admirable, lack of planning involved in this endeavor. Everything for sale has been literally dumped from the garage to a shelf, complete with cobwebs and bug carcasses. For most of the day, no one has actually been outside to greet the (very few) people who wander by. We just run out when we seem someone. They wander for five minutes, realize it's all junk, and leave. We have made a little money, but by and large, this is a minimal-effort endeavor which will be followed up by an unceremonious trip to Salvation Army.

Living here for a couple months has made me realize why I am absolutely terrible at household errands and chores--I come by it honestly. This is one of the many reasons I should never own a house (another comes from my fear of running over my own child with my car--probaby irrational, but I figure I can avoid this paranoia by never actually having a driveway). It is all I can do to keep up with an apartment. Actually, I think my wonderful wife might disagree with my ability to keep even an apartment intact. I'll work on that.

In other news, I have added Lis's lovely blog to my sidebar, in part because I saw her latest post in which she said the financial crisis has made her more fiscally responsible. Me too! I have been very frugal while in Ohio, and am slowly paying off my credit card debt. Nothing like a little fear to motivate responsibility.

Oh, and to Kim's "Cry" option...good point! I think that goes between #2 and #3 options for me. Of course, a post-doc is also an option, but since I was already planning on that, it doesn't really seem like a "back-up."

Speaking of which, back to writing my post-doc application...

Updates

All the news that's fit to print...

Research: I finished my 30th interview today, so I am halfway through! I'm not really sure whether to be happy or sad about that. It's an accomplishment, but I cannot believe I have to start all over again at a new school. The good news is that the new school is much newer, cleaner, and more spacious. I will no longer have an office across the street, but I will have a nearby starbucks!

Politics: I did not watch last night's debate (I get too tense), but apparently some guy named Joe made news. Too bad Joe the plumber is a bit of a fraud... Also, this morning I was at the starbucks near the new school where I am doing interviews, and I overheard two guys talking about the election. They got on the topic of health care, and the first guy seemed bothered by Obama's plans to nationalize health care (he was in a wheel chair--voting against his own self-interest, apparently). The second one said he was a social conservative and believed in "supply-side economics", but then launched into a very accurate description of Obama's plan, and how it would be better than McCain's. Almost made me like him. Then he ripped into Palin's decision to run while dealing with a pregnant teenager and baby. I was not as into that. There are many, many things to critique Palin for that have nothing to do with her work-family choices.

The "Great" Midwest: Get me out. Get me out. Yup, that sums it up.

Jobs: So much for academic jobs being buffered from the economy. A public university that shall not be named just dropped 24 of 28 job openings this year in an effort to scale back, and departments are being told to plan for either a 5% or 7% budget cut. In honor of that, here are my backup jobs, in order of least desparate to most:

1. Government/non-profit research
2. University administration (probably admissions)
3. Teacher (math, preferrably, history if I had to)
4. Bartender
5. Coffee house employee
6. Selling hot dogs on the street

What's your backup?

I Heart Donna Brazile

I already liked Donna Brazile. She quickly became my favorite political pundit/consultant this year (sorry, James Carville). But now...I love her:

Watch here

(Courtesy of Alison).

16 Days...

Yesterday I bought tickets to go back to Philly from Oct. 28 to Nov. 9. I'm leaving my car in Ohio for now, since I will need to come back to finish the interviews and then drive back to Philly. I can't wait to be home, though. I can't wait to be in my own apartment, see Alison and my cat, and actually go out to eat at a restaurant. The only good thing I can say for Ohio is that I've lost weight, because there aren't many good places to eat. It's either fast food, or make your own food.

Yesterday I canvassed for Obama for another three and a half hours, with an utterly useless man named Ben. Ben was nice enough, but he clearly felt nervous about approaching people on his own (and yet he was nearly 50!). So he insisted in going together to every house. Which meant I knocked on doors and talked to people while he played the part of my shadow. He also kept walking across people's lawns until I suggested that we not do that, would comment loudly on people's homes as we approached their door, and had a bad habit of spitting out of the side of his mouth as we walked. This was not helped by the fact that we were given a list of "persuade" voters, who were often republican, so we were yelled at and told "where to go" a couple of times. Still, we did talk to several undecided and "leaning Obama" voters, and conversations with these people made up for the grouchy ones. One woman, who was undecided, told me that her daughter and son-in-law were both in the military. She said she had gone to "too many military funerals to count" and she wanted us out of Iraq. She had even met with Bush about this at a meeting for military mothers.

In other news, I am wrapping up my interviews at the first school. I have completed 25, and hope to finish the other 5 or so before Wednesday. On Wednesday afternoon, I should receive the surveys from the second school, and will start a new round of interviews. My most interesting interview last week was with an extremely religious student who said she was "too close" to God, because she would walk through the halls talking to God out loud. She was a very smart, well-adjusted adolescent. But her interview went on for longer than most because of her long discussions about the role of religion in her life. I would have been happier about this if I had received permission to record her interview. Instead, I spent hours trying to make sense of my notes in order to cobble together a "transcript" of the interview.

Other than that, I am still obsessively reading political blogs and watching my job prospects slip away while I procrastinate from working on papers and post-doc applications. Good times.

Gay Marriage Legal in Connecticut!!!

'Nuff said.

Good read #2

I just read this and thought I would pass it on. McCain & Palin's strategy has become more racially charged recently, but the people discussing this have largely not acknowledged that this is a different form of racism than we have seen directed toward Black leaders in the past. This article does a good job of describing the differences.

Election, campaigning, and Obama

I went campaigning for Obama on Wednesday night, for about 3 hours. The night before, I canvassed for an hour with my stepmother, but she had done most of the talking. This time I was paired with a dour but amiable guy named Ryan. He was a mostly stay-at-home dad who worked part-time at Trader Joe's. He had gone to Northeastern, and worked as a campaigner for all those "Do you have a minute for..." places during college. We split up the houses on our list, so we could get as many done as possible.

We canvassed a primarily White, working class neighborhood neighborhood in Ohio (a good depiction of these voters was written here in the New Yorker). Our instructions were to first ask if they knew who they were voting for. If they were leaning toward a candidate or undecided, we next asked what the most important issue to them was, and talked to them about that topic. If they said they were definite Obama supporters, we asked how likely they were to vote, and gave them information about early voting. And to McCain supporters, we said "Okay, thanks. Have a good night." Everything was recorded on an information sheet, so the campaign could keep track of voter leanings, issues, and voting-likelihood.

The names and addresses we were given included registered independents and democrats, so there were only a few McCain supporters. Several people were still undecided. The main issue for everyone we talked to was the economy. Some of the undecided voters were wavering between the two candidates. Others knew they would not vote for McCain, but did not know whether they would vote for Obama. I usually talked to them about jobs and taxes. Several people were very passionate about their worries with the economy and their anger at McCain and Bush. Overall, it was a really good experience, and I was surprised by the effectiveness of going door to door. I wasn't sure people would listen, but they did. And a couple of Obama supporters were unclear on voting procedures which would have left them without a vote if someone had not talked to them. I hope to do more canvassing next week. And I would encourage you all to do some, if you have time! In North Carolina, the senate vote is particularly important--Kay Hagan is running very, very close to Dole, so every vote counts.

After canvassing, I received a "VIP" pass to the Obama event, which meant I had access to the field directly around the stage where he spoke. I went with an employee of my stepmom, and we were very close to the stage. At one point before the speech, an elderly woman near us blacked out from the heat. Many of us gave her food, water, and shade before the paramedics arrived. Otherwise, the wait was largely uneventful. In the lead-up to Obama, several people spoke, including Ted Strickland, the governer of Ohio. Obama's speech was good, if difficult to hear (I think we were actually a little too close). Afterwards, I managed to get near the front and shake his hand, which was very cool. I have pictures for you all, but posting them may need to wait until I am in Philly.

Updates all around!

Research: I have 23 and a half interviews done now (today was a shorter day so I only finished half of the last interview). Unfortunately, I have interviewed several students this week who did not want to be recorded, so I have hours of transcribing ahead of me. I really hate transcribing an interview from notes. Invariably, I am not able to write quickly enough to get everything, and I'm always worried that I will get something wrong.

Good news--I finally have permission from the other school. Yay! They want me to distribute the survey next week, so I will have time to finish all or most of the first 30 interviews. Unfortunately, this is taking longer than I wanted it to, so I plan to go to Philadelphia Oct. 28 through Nov. 9, and then return to Ohio for a week to finish interviewing in November. I am going to Philly to visit Alison and my cat, go to the haunted prison, go to Jess's Halloween party (no, I'm not talking about myself in the third person), vote, and celebrate the election. I realize that this may not be the most responsible choice. But I really cannot stand the idea of missing Halloween and the election in Philly.

Jobs: I think Kim is right about this--academia may well be shielded from the crisis. I'm just worried. And it doesn't help that I spend an inordinate amount of time reading political blogs and listening to NPR. I finally decided to email my advisor yesterday about whether I should apply for more jobs, but she advised me not to do that. So, I'm putting my faith in the system. Kind of.

Politics: Tomorrow I am playing hooky from my research and going to an Obama rally. My stepmom and I canvassed for the campaign in a neighborhood yesterday, and will do more this evening. It went pretty well--it was a White, lower middle class neighborhood and we talked to three Obama supportors, 1 McCain supporter, 1 person who wouldn't say (probably McCain), and 1 anti-Bush guy who didn't want to vote (talk about waste of space...). And of course, there were lots of people who weren't there or didn't answer their doors. One woman wore a "McSame" t-shirt, and another woman asked us for an Obama sign for her yard. So, all in all, a good time.

Health Care plans: Obama vs. McCain

Good read:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/06/opinion/06krugman.html?em

Fear

This year was supposed to be the year in which I applied for my ideal jobs, but didn't worry if they didn't come through. However, with the economy in a slump, I wonder whether I just need to take a job--any job--and hunker down until the recession (depression?) is over. Seriously, there may not be jobs available next year. This is frightening. I wonder whether I will end up being a secondary school teacher if things get really bad. Which wouldn't be terrible, except that I could have been doing that five years ago. I emailed my advisors to ask whether I need to apply to more jobs this year. I am also applying for a post-doc in Stockholm, since leaving the country is becoming an increasingly attractive option.

Other updates...

Research: 19 interviews down, 41 to go. I have started to have some insights into the larger story of the research, although obviously I have more to go. I think there will be a gender socialization angle to this chapter. The girls I interview seem to be drawn to the health field because they want to "help" people. And this appears tied to their feelings of competence for caring. Yet while nearly everyone cites wanting to help people as a reason for pursuing these careers, no one can explain why helping people is important to them.

Politics: I went running yesterday for 5 miles (quite an accomplishment in my current fitness regime), and I tried to count all the political lawn signs I passed. On the main street, there were only a few--two for McCain and one for Obama. Looking down the streets into neighborhoods, I saw that about half of the houses had signs in front. Although McCain outnumbered Obama, it was pretty divided--in some places, nearly every-other house had an Obama sign and every-other house had a McCain sign. Wonder what those neighbors think of each other.

The Midwest: I have started to restrict my running to the neighborhood near my parent's house, rather than going on the path near the river. The path is a clean, well-paved road devoted to running and biking, and it extends for miles around the area. And yet, no one uses it. And after I passed a man waking up from a drunken nap under an overpass, I decided the neighborhoods were safer. Boo.

Diagramming sentences

This article brought me back to middle school:

http://www.slate.com/id/2201158/

I always loved diagramming sentences. They were challenging enough to make the work interesting, but also very straightforward. Much like algebra, my other favorite middle school subject.

My interviews are now up to 13, and I have two more scheduled today. I had four scheduled, but one girl didn't want to miss the homecoming court vote--yes, seriously--and the other couldn't get out of work early. But having 15 done by the end of the day isn't terrible. I would like to get more done so that I can go back to Philadelphia, but I realize that I am not as good of an interviewer by the third or fourth interview of the day.

So what is a bad interview? Interviewing used to be my worst methodological skill (in comparison to statistics & ethnographic fieldwork). But I have gotten better. Interviewing requires the willingness to ask questions that you think are irrelevant, to ask the same question over and over in different ways, and to ask questions that appear to be uncomfortable for the respondent. When I began interviewing a couple years ago for another project, I was not very good at coming up with probing questions in the midst of the interview or asking questions that I thought had already been answered. I've improved, mainly because I have found that 1) Interview subjects don't notice when you ask the same question for the third time, particularly when they are spaced out and not asked in the same way; 2) They are likely to give you a different answer to the same question; and 3) When in doubt, probe with "Why?", or "What do you mean by X?" My worst interviews are ones in which I am tired and just want to complete the interview, and thus fail to follow up on a topic. I try to remind myself that I will be angry later when I read the transcript and find nothing useful. Sometimes this works, sometimes not so much.

On another topic, remember that tonight is the VP debate! I am psyched. I love watching Palin nose-dive, and I am eagerly anticipating another wild ride. Also, Biden is adorable. I kind of love watching him make gaffes as well.

P.S. Apparently Palin decided to visit our neighborhood in Philly last week--she watched the presidential debate from the Irish bar that is three doors down from our apartment, and then had lunch at our favorite deli. What gives? Get out of Philly, Palin!

Same damn thing, every day

My schedule is depressingly rote: wake up at 5:15am, leave the house by 6:15, stop by starbucks for coffee, get to the school a little after 7am. Give out consent forms/check if consent forms are signed/interview students until 2:15, go to the university across the street to work until 5:30, go home to exercise & eat dinner, do two more hours of work, talk to Alison, fall asleep in bed reading, wake up at 2am with the lights on and a book in my lap.

Bahhhhhh... So I am trying to work some excitement into my life. So far I have ice cream Wednesdays (I go to Graeter's) and coffee & scones on Saturdays (starting this week). Pathetic, I know. Food does make me happy. But not when it is my only source of excitement. I am also going to try to volunteer for the democrats. I initially wanted to do this because I believe in the democratic ticket--and I still do. But now I think my motivation is more that I need human contact apart from teenagers and my parents.

Other updates...

Research: Six more interviews this week brings the total to 11.

Politics: I keep meaning to actually read the failed bailout legislation, but have not had time. Although I have a good sense of the overall structure of the bill, I would like to know more. Also, I am trying to think of a good way to talk policy on this blog once in a while, but I haven't figured out a structure & topic that seems appropriate.

The Midwest: I went to the worst yoga class in my life yesterday. It was truly sad. What is WRONG with this place?

Poverty

I have completed 5 interviews, and while I cannot say too much about any one interview per se, I feel it is probably okay to talk about them in a general sense. Partially, I wish to write about the interviews because they weigh very heavily on me. These kids are very poor, and have very, very tough lives. Most of them have multiple family members who are quite ill and as a consequence, cannot work. Several of the kids I interviewed have serious health problems themselves. Most live with extended family members. A few have family members in jail and rehab, or who are currently serious drug users. They talk openly about prior abuse, chaotic family lives, and depression. I am shocked by what I hear, to be honest. I did teach in a poor, inner city area. And while I knew of many difficulties in my kid's lives, they were often only shared in bits and pieces, when they became relevant to academic performance or school interactions. In interviews, I get a summary picture of the conflicting pressures on these kids all at once, and it is scary. Not to mention the fact that I think we expect these stories from Black kids, yet are often shielded from the depths of poverty that persist in White communities. While poverty found in Black communities can be more persistent, due to segregation and density, poverty is debilitating in any context.

I am amazed these kids have hopes, dreams, and optimism. They are not "planful" (to use Clausen's terminology), but in their circumstances, who would be? These kids don't need "work ethic" or "personal responsibility", buzz words of a political elite ignorant of the lives of the poor. Most of the kids do work, on top of performing child care and extensive chores in their own homes. They need stability and a consistent family life, a good education system, and healthcare.

Ironically, the town I am working in is solidly republican. And yet everything I have seen here makes me more angry at conservatives. They argue that keeping healthcare privatized gives families "choices". What choices? To cut spending on food, or cut spending on health? To avoid preventative medicine and turn to the emergency room as a last resort? Arguing that private-run health care is a fiscally conservative stance is plain wrong--preventative medicine is hugely cheaper than fixing problems later. Not to mention the money lost in wages and law suits when companies continually dodge payments for medical care. And while children's health care is a more popular measure to support than universal care, no one thinks about the damage done to kids when their parents don't have access to care. When single parents fall ill, who is there to take care of the home? Who makes sure the kids get to school? Who works? These responsibilities either fall to kids, or they simply fall through the cracks.

Like the nation, the town I am living in is segregated by race and class. The middle class folks (a minority) live in one small section of town. Their kids attend the honors classes, and have little contact with the rest of the students who take general education classes. Those on the other side of the divide--the working class and poor kids--have a little more perspective. But not much. And this is the problem with the political system. Segregation of any kind is easy to exploit. Where a lack of understanding exists, politicians can exploit it. So the poor become "shiftless" and "lazy". And the wealthy become "elitist" and "out of touch". And there are facts that can be used to augment these stories. Fewer people in poverty work--although no one mentions this is due to illness, depression, and job cuts. And the wealthy are segregated from the poor--due to lax housing regulation, school tracking, and yes, some old-fashioned classism and racism.

What do we do? And what do we do first? It is a chicken-egg dilemma, to me: housing, healthcare, education, families, jobs (not to mention, civil and human rights). But I suggest we start with healthcare.

Claymates, eat your heart out

I was prepared to be dismissive toward Clay's long-overdue coming out day, but after reading the People magazine story, I couldn't help but feel a little proud. He's a gay dad! Go, gay dads, go!

In honor of this blog's title, here are my updates...

Research: I have completed two interviews! They were a lot of fun, and went much better than I expected. Yay. I have also been applying for jobs. I sent two out a couple of days ago, and I have seven more ready to go tomorrow. I cannot wait to have them all gone. Take them, search committees, and do what you will!

Politics: I have become a total political junky. I listen to NPR nonstop, despite getting only partial reception near my school site. I ignore almost all other NY Times stories in favor of the election (and occasionally, Wall Street). I have increased my daily reading to Talking Points Memo (multiple times a day), The Note, Roll Call, Politico, Huffington Post, the New Republic, and the Washington Post's political browser. It's sick, people. Really. If I don't finish my dissertation, you know why.

The Midwest: On the bumper sticker countdown, I have spied two more McCain bumper stickers, to 0 for Obama.

And on the age front...a teacher asked for my "hall pass" today, before realizing I was not a student. And one of my interviewees thought I was 23. The moisterizer is working :)

Surveys!

I have surveys!

For background: I am in the midwest this Fall to interview high school students about their aspirations. Specifically, I am interviewing junior and senior girls who are interested in health & medicine. Or maybe just the sciences, if I get desperate. The first step in doing this is disseminating surveys to students at the school I am working with, in order to identify the students I can interview. Today I picked up my first set of surveys, completed by the students. Very exciting. I have a little under 28 students identified as good interview subjects, and another 5 to 10 back-ups. I need 60 total, but not all surveys have been turned in.

Tomorrow I'm going to bring consent forms to the school so the students can get their parents' permission. I am hoping that part goes well. I know high school students can be forgetful, particularly with forms. I'm hoping the lure of $15 and getting out of class will bring the consent forms in, though. I am also going to see if I can interview the two students who are 18 and can sign their own consent forms.

My favorite response to question, "What job would you like to hold when you are 30 years old?"

"Baby Doctor"

Some people go to Nepal...

I go to the Midwest. Ah, the excitement of research in far off places!

Okay, so it's not an exciting place. This is the place where Ria called me within a couple of hours of landing at my local airport to ask, "How did you grow up here? There's nothing here!" So true. But I thought blogging would make it more interesting. Or at least it would allow you all to see what I'm up to, should you choose to. I will be somewhat circumspect about my exact location, since I am doing research.

So here's my update: I have been here a week, and my research has yet to start. We have been without power for quite some time, and the high school where I am doing my research was closed for several days last week. I cannot tell you how depressing it is to see the sun go down when you know you can't turn on a lamp, watch tv, or cook food. It was a gloomy week indeed.

But the power eventually came back on (six days later), and I delivered surveys to the high school where I will be doing my research. When I arrived at the school and asked a student working in the counseling office if the head counselor was available, she went to the office and told her that "a parent wanted to see her." Ouch. It made me want to drive straight back home and grab some moisterizer and concealer.

It's been a decent week otherwise. I have been working from a Starbucks and my mother's office. At Starbucks I got into a lengthy conversation with an older man about politics. We agreed on everything except voting (he thought there should be an IQ test to vote, I believe voting should be mandatory for everyone). But he was liberal, which cheered me up. Because I am living in a swing state, and it's depressing. So far I've seen an even number of Obama and McCain bumper stickers. However, my parents' grocery store is selling "charity" ground coffee, where you are supposed to choose to buy either McCain coffee (light roast), Obama coffee (medium roast), or Neither One coffee (dark roast). They give a portion of the sales for each one to a different charity--McCain's is for Veterans, Obama's is for some children's organization (I think). Then they keep count of sales as "votes". So far: McCain 207, Obama 178, Neither 81. Damn. It makes me want to buy coffee.